Time and again, I keep on reiterating the radical change that has transpired within me in the past few years. While it might seem to be ridiculously mundane for people to give audience to such repetitions, I don't think I will ever get tired of harping on the way I managed to lift myself up and stand on my feet, with my head held and eyes sparkling with the pride of the victorious. It was a difficult journey for me - a long, tideous and tiresome one, sometimes exceedingly frustrating. Yet the journey ingrained within me passionate memories which will always pervade my heart with a warm heaviness and a burning desire to relive the journey again.
What started off just as an interest to keep myself occupied at times when I had nothing specific to do, landed up being an obsession, a disease to which there is no cure, a malady which I would want to affect me throughout my life. Soc Cult was a means of self-expression, a means of venting out the plenitude of emotions locked within my heart - the only way for me to get away from the vagaries of the present and my tormenting past. What was often misconstrued as a singular drive to achieve an abstruse goal was in truth a facade to realise a dream, so private and so personal, that it would be impossible for anyone to fathom its actual depth. I realize now that to some extent Soc Cult was like a bulwark of self-defense, an escapade to rid myself of some asinine problems, scourging the heart of a troubled teenager.
More than anything Soc Cult gave me my moments, gave me my memories, gave me the recognition and gifted me my friends, reasons to smile. It has tied me so intricately and so visciously - that somehow I'm not getting the strength or the courage to sever the ties, now that I am on the verge of leaving Soc Cult and all that I had stood for, these past years. But, again it is Soc Cult that made me realize that life is not just about beginnings and endings - it's all about transformation. It is true that it is something like an ending of an era for me, but it is also something like the beginning of another era. Every era must end to give place for a new beginning and the excitement which new initiatives bring along with themselves should be welcomed with open arms - this is something which I am currently forcing myself to believe, for it is the only way I can protect the village by the seashore, from the heaving tides, which are heading towards the shore with a ferocity, that is a force to be reckoned with.
And in a hurried recollection process - it made me establish relations with people without whom my life would be incomplete, my character, only sem-etched, my dreams only partially realized, my happiness only partially experienced. Rohit Gupta, Gyanesh, Neeraj, Mithun, Ritwik, Apurv, Ankik, Debdutta - thanks a lot for giving me the opportunity to redeem myself, to help me grow, to help me dream, to help me love life again, to help me live life again. It honestly would be impossible for me to be the person that I am, had it not been for you guys. And that is why, it's so God damn it difficult for me to control myself, now when the time for Goodbye has come again. I'll surely miss you, to say the least. [:)]
In an essay during my ISC examination I had written the line, "Dreams are but fanciful imaginations crossing the minds of a person who wishes to see a reality in his dreams", without understanding what it meant. It was just a line which was contorted and its tortuisity made it special for me. Soc Cult and you crazy people (names mentioned before) made me understand this line, which I had written five years ago. And the feeling of understanding it is unparralleled and to top it, the exuberance that this understanding is filling me with is serving as peek hole for me to look back at the innocent and ambitious Sandipan, whom I had lost touch with. Thanks all you guys for being the bridge between me and the person that I had been, the person that I had wanted to be. For so many days now, I had just been like the solitary reaper on an unknown farmland. Guess, I never will be alone again - although life might land up creating a big and unbridgeable gap between me and all these people, but the schism that separated me from myself has been abridged...thnx to all of my prodigal juniors and seniors - thnx for the reunion.
And needless to say, had Soc Cult not been there this long drawn process of re-establishment of a long lost connection would have been further post-poned, and might have been reduced to a thin skein of possibility, lost within the sands of time.
What started off just as an interest to keep myself occupied at times when I had nothing specific to do, landed up being an obsession, a disease to which there is no cure, a malady which I would want to affect me throughout my life. Soc Cult was a means of self-expression, a means of venting out the plenitude of emotions locked within my heart - the only way for me to get away from the vagaries of the present and my tormenting past. What was often misconstrued as a singular drive to achieve an abstruse goal was in truth a facade to realise a dream, so private and so personal, that it would be impossible for anyone to fathom its actual depth. I realize now that to some extent Soc Cult was like a bulwark of self-defense, an escapade to rid myself of some asinine problems, scourging the heart of a troubled teenager.
More than anything Soc Cult gave me my moments, gave me my memories, gave me the recognition and gifted me my friends, reasons to smile. It has tied me so intricately and so visciously - that somehow I'm not getting the strength or the courage to sever the ties, now that I am on the verge of leaving Soc Cult and all that I had stood for, these past years. But, again it is Soc Cult that made me realize that life is not just about beginnings and endings - it's all about transformation. It is true that it is something like an ending of an era for me, but it is also something like the beginning of another era. Every era must end to give place for a new beginning and the excitement which new initiatives bring along with themselves should be welcomed with open arms - this is something which I am currently forcing myself to believe, for it is the only way I can protect the village by the seashore, from the heaving tides, which are heading towards the shore with a ferocity, that is a force to be reckoned with.
And in a hurried recollection process - it made me establish relations with people without whom my life would be incomplete, my character, only sem-etched, my dreams only partially realized, my happiness only partially experienced. Rohit Gupta, Gyanesh, Neeraj, Mithun, Ritwik, Apurv, Ankik, Debdutta - thanks a lot for giving me the opportunity to redeem myself, to help me grow, to help me dream, to help me love life again, to help me live life again. It honestly would be impossible for me to be the person that I am, had it not been for you guys. And that is why, it's so God damn it difficult for me to control myself, now when the time for Goodbye has come again. I'll surely miss you, to say the least. [:)]
In an essay during my ISC examination I had written the line, "Dreams are but fanciful imaginations crossing the minds of a person who wishes to see a reality in his dreams", without understanding what it meant. It was just a line which was contorted and its tortuisity made it special for me. Soc Cult and you crazy people (names mentioned before) made me understand this line, which I had written five years ago. And the feeling of understanding it is unparralleled and to top it, the exuberance that this understanding is filling me with is serving as peek hole for me to look back at the innocent and ambitious Sandipan, whom I had lost touch with. Thanks all you guys for being the bridge between me and the person that I had been, the person that I had wanted to be. For so many days now, I had just been like the solitary reaper on an unknown farmland. Guess, I never will be alone again - although life might land up creating a big and unbridgeable gap between me and all these people, but the schism that separated me from myself has been abridged...thnx to all of my prodigal juniors and seniors - thnx for the reunion.
And needless to say, had Soc Cult not been there this long drawn process of re-establishment of a long lost connection would have been further post-poned, and might have been reduced to a thin skein of possibility, lost within the sands of time.

0 comments:
Post a Comment